Stupid, Misunderstood (WDD 2011)

For those popping over from A Holy Experience...there is a special edition of One Thousand Gifts at the end of this post.  Don't let the title fool you...

The alternate name for this post would be...

Not Feeling It

Because I'm not.  I'm not feeling World Diabetes Day this year.  I don't feel like stringing my blue lights. I don't feel like putting blue balloons on my lamp post.  I don't even want to wear blue, darn it!!

I just don't want to.

I don't want a color.

I don't want a month.

I don't want a day. 

I don't want a disease.

I don't want this stupid, misunderstood disease.  I don't want any disease.  And If i have to have one...I'll take a "manageable" disease, thankyouverymuch.  But this isn't the manageable one that I want.  I don't want a disease that people think they can "cure" or "reverse" by just getting their numbers into range.  I want a disease where all the people that have it understand the science behind it.  I don't want any form of disease that people think they've been able to cure just because they are able to effectively manage it with diet, exercise, and/or weight loss.

I want a cure.  And I want everyone who has this stupid, misunderstood disease to want it too.  I don't want a disease where people say, "I don't think there will ever be a cure," or "I'd rather my money go toward researching something worse."   I want a disease where the people who have it have learned how to live life but haven't come to accept it.

I want better treatments.  I can't believe that 90 years later, we are still managing this stupid, misunderstood disease with the same medication.  Sure, it's not the same as it was back then, but we started treating type 1 diabetes with insulin 90 years ago...I want a disease where more progress has been made over a century of research.

I'm not entirely ungrateful.  I know, full well, that I couldn't handle many of the other diseases out there--even the ones that are less stupid and more understood.  I also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is in control and has set me down this road for a reason.  I have never, that I can remember, wasted more than a couple minutes contemplating what life would be like without this supid, misunderstood disease.  

But, seriously people.  I don't want to wear blue today.  I don't want to string my blue lights or bake blue cookies or spray paint my leftover Halloween pumpkins.  I don't want a day.  I don't want a month.  And i don't want this stupid, misunderstood disease any longer.  

Please, someone come take it from me? 

And now here's a special World Diabetes Day installment 
of 

One Thousand Gifts
{{click the button to the left to see previous posts}}

41)  My insulin pump

42)  That my insulin pump is purple and purple makes me smile

43)  The way Dex wakes me up from a deep sleep to tell me I'm low....and doesn't take "Oh SHUT UP!" as an answer.

44)  My children are diabetes-free 

45)  Insulin (thank you, Banting & Best!)

46)  At home glucose testing

47)  The ability to manage my disease at home

48)  An endocrinologist who answers email faster than any doctor I've ever met

49)  The friend who mailed me 2 Dexcom sensors

50)  Low carb food I can eat when my blood sugar just won't budge

51)  That my round of prednisone is O-V-E-R and my blood sugar is back to normal!

52)  The way my Dexcom has decreased my a1c by 3/10 of a point.  

53)  My mom is still alive & healthy, 53+ years after diagnosis.

54)  The way eating food & sugar is a vital part of the management of this disease.

55)  Never needing to do a Glucose Tolerance Test during a pregnancy

56)  The women I've met through Diabetic Mommy since 2006

57)  The relationships that have grown out of my time at Diabetic Mommy

58)  The women at our local JDRF who work hard to meet the needs of our diabetes community.

59)  Friends who now have a little more understanding of type 1 diabetes because they take the time to listen and learn.

60)  That 22 years & 8 months after my diagnosis I am happy and healthy.